Dreams · Modern Living · New Writer · Soccer Mom · Stay at Home Wife

Lost Thoughts

I was listening to a recording I made earlier in the evening while driving to run an errand.  Just some notes I wanted to remember for this post.  I don’t like recording myself.  Every time I play it back I cringe at the sound of my own voice.  I still do it though.  I find it hard to write and drive at the same time.  Plus, my phone has a good app so I use it.  Sometimes the thoughts will come to me while I am driving around listening to some lyric-less music, so I have to get them out of my head somehow.

In preparation for this post, I was listening to my thoughts rolling my eyes at myself when I suddenly remembered my dream from last night.  It was incredible. How could I have forgotten until right now? I wanted to write a post about my dreams for three days.  I even deleted a few paragraphs I had already started about it. I did not think I had anything to really say.  Turns out I do after all.

By the way in case you were curious, my recording was about how I felt driving my car with the top down at night.  Seems lame in comparison looking back.

I love my dreams I think I talked more about them in my last blog. Here are some cliff notes, I have very vivid, prophetic, sometimes a blur between real and not real type dreams.  I have emotional connections to them. Sometimes I can send myself into a dream and sometimes I have no control where I end up.  I for the most part used to remember them all.

It seems like when my life gets hectic sadly, my dreams became static-ey.   I stopped remembering them for a while and feeling them.  They are coming back slowly thank my god! I finally had a dream of my friend who died 11 years ago. I am pretty sure it was him coming to say Hi, finally!  All though I did not let him talk much. I simply stated over and over again how much my husband and I loved him.  I woke up from that one wanting to go back to sleep so badly.

The one I had last night does not beat that but it’s close.  I used to dream about flying all the time.  I would fly all over my childhood neighborhood.  I lost that at some point and I don’t know when that was.  Often I would reminisce of my dream ability and often wonder how I lost it. I longed for it back.  That very thought crossed my mind recently.  The memory of flying.  Maybe my subconscious heard me, because last night I tried to fly!

I remember I was just standing in the middle of some street somewhere when I decided it was time to give the flying a go again.  I found myself floating up and I started to realize what was happening.  It seemed like as soon as I did I could feel the pull of gravity taking me back down. I fought it.  I tried to clear my head and distract my thoughts.  I laughed at myself because I told myself to think happy thoughts.  Like I was Peter Pan or something. I started to float up again. Suddenly those knots in my stomach, the ones that pull tight when I get into some heights started to pull at me. I wanted to forget I was afraid and just fly. I closed my eyes and went onto the clouds.  The flying did not last long, nor did the dream.  I think the cat or my husband woke me.   Whatever it was I was awake and the dream was forgotten.  Until ten hours later spontaneously.  Life and its great mysteries.   I guess I got my dream post out for now.     Happy New Year!  Hope yours is going to be as good as mine!


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