I have a secret confession to make…I cannot stand weddings or anything to do with them. It’s strictly personal the hatred. Just way too much on my little stressed heart. Do you remember when TLC used to have programs like A Wedding Story and A Baby Story? I used to love watching those shows back to back. Especially the wedding one. A part of me knew though I would never have one. Especially watching the planning of one. I knew the cost was something I could never afford. It has been said “If you have to ask, you can’t afford it” so I have never asked.
Don’t get me wrong at the time when I was married, my husband was on a ten day leave in between boot camp and his first duty station. The time and place then was right for us. I had no idea how much an impact of not having a wedding would become later. Watching anything to do with weddings now just evoke sadness.
It’s sad I won’t ever stand on that peddle stool with mirrors surrounding me looking at myself in some gorgeous gown. Sad I will never live in that moment of walking down the aisle, him seeing me for the first time looking stunning. I will never hear the words of his vows, his promises and plans to stay loyal, keep me safe and treat me like his all, forever.
It seems like that feeling would not be the same all these years later. Hell back then I don’t even know who I would have a wedding for. At the time I didn’t have many friends but a handful. My family, I really didn’t like my family. It was a bad situation. I still don’t talk too many of them.
Moms in law and I get a long great now, 13 years ago not so much. She didn’t see my quality’s she was blinded by my situation. She knows me now, and I like to think she knows I am more than qualified to be her daughter in law. I am way fine with that. She is a strong women and if I can be half of who she is, I will be alright. If I had to name a role model now that I am here thinking about it – it would be her. She is it 100%.
Back to the wedding subject though, I do look forward to the weddings of my future. I have three daughters. I know, at least in some capacity I will feel a wedding. It just won’t be mine. Something I am trying to come to live with. Just for fun I think I am going to leave a few photos of what my ideal wedding would have looked like.
Something like this for my bouquet. Simple and beautiful.
To go along with a dress of this beautiful nature.
This dress could be a contender too.
Maybe in a whimsical looking place like such…..
I will have a place like that one above. For real. Probably with Pink Trumpet Trees. Those pictured above are Peach Blossoms I think. Every wedding, well not every but mine would need a special cocktail. I have lushy tendencies so I like to drink sometimes. Mine would be Bellini’s and a little cocktail mixture of Coconut rum, a splash of pineapple juice and splash of grenadine. Shake that up in a nice metal shaker and I promise you will be making that again very briefly.
Well maybe I can watch weddings now a little easier since I got that out. I basically just planned my wedding and imagined it in my head and my imagination is very vivid so I think I am good for the moment. Thanks for reading. When you like my posts I feel the love and it really helps make my day happier. So thanks to those who have and done so.