life · Uncategorized

Fear?

I have let fear dominate me for a lifetime.  Childhood fear of my dad, young adult fears after having children of death, now fear of my partner and his unstable attitude.  I never know if he’s mad today or what he is going to blow up on.   Of course I tell myself, it is what it is, being married to a half Greek, half Puerto Rican former Marine, I am going to get a dominating unstable man. It’s just hard sometimes and I swear my feet are all bloody from walking on all these egg shells.

On a lighter note, I used to fear people would not read books anymore by the time I grew up and finally wrote one.  My writing goals have shifted, I want to write a fantastic script.  People do still watch movies.  I need to block that irrational fear.  I understand how some people let their fears get to them and they become incapacitated in their little boxes of a home.   I definitely could be one of those people.

I started on what I consider personal homework and I found a script for a movie kind of similar to an idea I have.  I just want to read the script to see how they laid it out.   I think I make things to complicated and I know this will help me.   I have two days off from work and I am hoping to get something done.   At this point in my life I could care less about the floor that needs to be cleaned I just want to write.

This moment is kind of hard though, I have my new puppy trying to play with my feet…….

 

 

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